Landlords to be responsible for tenants tobacco tax evasion?

Of course this includes all the the council housing associations ,and any other definition of landlords or social housing.....or are they excempt as usual. It seems that is where you might find tax evasion rather than private landlords tenants!

Reply to the comment left by "Grumpy Doug" at "03/03/2017 - 11:21":

I have come up with a letter to give my tenants, so that I don't impede on their Quiet Enjoyment.

Dear Tenant,

Please accept this letter as notification of my intention to carry out an inspection of your property, within 48 hours.

I shall be bringing my sniffer dog, (Gracie), who will want to sniff your bum hole, promptly followed by your crotch.
(Please don't bother to shower, it makes her sneeze and affects her allergies).

As you know, we have spent over £8,000 to train her to sniff out contraband, as required by the new HMRC legislation, only affecting 1 in 5 landlords, that now house cannabis producing tenants and contraband tobacco products.

Unfortunately, it is now your landlords role to search your loft space, lift up your carpets and laminate flooring if Gracie barks and sniffs something out.

We purposely purchased a Cocker Spaniel as they are noted as having an excellent sense of smell and can sniff a Kipper as far away as the moon, so as to cause the least amount of disturbance.

May I draw your attention to Term 5.1 of our tenancy agreement, a copy of which you have previously been given, which allows us access to your property to inspect at short notice.

Its under the section "Collapse of the Police, Custom & Excise or Immigration Service".

Enclosed is an Excerpt:

5.1 Upon the signing of this agreement, the tenant agrees and the landlord agrees that the landlord can become a "grass" in regards to illicit contraband; the tenant agrees to reimburse the landlord for any broken ribs, dog biscuits, dental work, latex gloves or plastic surgery required to reconstruct the landlords face or reproductive equipment.
The tenant also agrees not to whistle "Hitler has only got one ball", whilst you stand to attention in the hallway, with your 'papers' or distract our sniffer dog, (Currently called Gracie), with any rubber chews or slippers.

Ps: If she shits on your lawn, we will of course utilise our poop scoop.

Kind Regards

Mr Gary Dully
and Gracie (Woof)
Landlord

Reply to the comment left by "Gary Dully" at "04/03/2017 - 10:10":

Fantastic !! Made my day 🙂

Am I supposed to be responsible for my tenant who is now starting a life sentance for murdering his girl frind in my property?

Reply to the comment left by "Hazel Taylor" at "04/03/2017 - 16:03":

My goodness how disgraceful, not only should you have been held responsible for the murder you should now be serving the life sentence and your tenant should be walking free. Have you no sense of shame?

Reply to the comment left by "Hazel Taylor" at "04/03/2017 - 16:03":

No.

But if they are running any kind of business they may be evading paying Corporation Tax and VAT. Or if they've a job then they may not be paying Income Tax.

Hello,

Am I supposed to be responsible for my tennant who has just started a life sentance for the murder of his girl frient in my property?
Hazel Taylor

Reply to the comment left by "Hazel Taylor" at "04/03/2017 - 16:03":

What did you do with the corpse?

I had to get a white paper suit on at one of my HMO's as the tenant had died about two weeks before and he exploded across the room when the Police moved the body.

It took 25kg of kitty litter to soak up all the body fluids from Asda.

We had to burn all the furniture, laminate and mattress in the back garden and I was reported to environmental health by a neighbor.

Ruined my week and I had to get a repossession order for the room at Birkenhead County Court.

My accountant says BTL is an armchair investment, it didn't smell like one.